Being Congruent

Check out this interesting answer on Yedda

Being “congruent”

   Sure, the idea of being "congruent" when you communicate simply means to have ALL LEVELS of your communication be "in alignment" with each other and "saying the same thing".

   If you're asking a woman for her number, but you're looking around nervously and hesitating, it's not "congruent".

   On the other hand, if you're saying "Write down your email and number for me" while taking out a pen and paper... as if it's the 147th time that you've done it, it's CONGRUENT.

   Most people don't realize that they're sending MIXED MESSAGES all the time.

   Have you ever asked someone "What's wrong?" and had them say "NOTHING'S WRONG! Why does everyone keep asking me what's wrong?".

   That's a mixed message. And it's not congruent.

   You want to “line up” ALL of your communication.

   Your body language, voice tone, words, etc.

   All of the different specific body language, voice tone, and gestures that I recommend in my programs have a single goal in mind: To help you be 100% CONGRUENT when you are communicating with women.

  The more congruent you are, and the more you use the techniques that I'm teaching, the better your responses from women will become.

Topics:  dating, congruent

Answered by David DeAngelo on December 16, 2006

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Goal Setting - Part 3

We all know the tradition. When January 31st rolls around, everyone decides that THIS year will be the year that they stick to their resolutions. Whether it’s to finally win the battle against weight gain, go back to school and earn that degree or finally quit that boring 9-5 job, we’re all guilty of setting these life-changing goals, only to give them up by the time February 1st shows up on the calendars.

However, you don’t need to wait until New Year’s Eve in order to set the kind of goals that can change your life forever; in fact, while you’re reading this article, you can make the conscious choice to make a change now. We’ve got the best tips and techniques on how you can stick to your goals, no matter how challenging they may seem – so by the time New Years comes around again, you’ll already have achieved your previous resolutions!

Plan Out Your Goals. No one sets their resolutions with the expectation that they’re going to fail; if that was the case, why bother setting a goal at all? However, many people fail to plan out exactly what they intend to do to achieve their goals. Set aside time to really devote yourself to your desired goals: what are you willing to do to achieve them? What changes are you going to have to make? What will you do each week, day or month in order to reach your goals?

Make Sure It’s What You Really Want. Many people want to lose extra weight or earn buckets of money; however, these aren’t realistic goals, but rather normal fantasies that the average person dreams about. For some, the desire to lose weight or make more money isn’t strong enough to actually warrant any action. Make sure that you really want your goal before devoting time to planning for it. If you’re not invested in reaching your goal, you’ll give up faster than you can say “Happy New Year”.

Be Held Accountable. Want a surefire way to make sure that you stick to your goals? Tell a friend or a loved one about your goal and enlist their support to help you achieve it. For example, if you want to attend the gym three times a week, have a friend go with you for that extra boost. If you know that other people are keeping track of you, you’ll be more likely to stick to your plan and attain that goal!

Give Yourself Rewards. Positive reinforcement is often one of the most powerful motivational tools that you can use to achieve your goal. If you want to lose five pounds, give yourself a small treat for every pound that you lose. Buy a great new outfit or treat yourself to a movie; whatever the reward may be, it will give you an extra motivational boost in reaching your desired goal.

Sticking to your goals doesn’t have to be difficult; in fact, if you use these tips and tricks, you’ll find it incredibly simple to achieve your desired goal, no matter what it may be. So don’t wait until New Year’s Eve to set those life-changing resolutions – make the decision to start down the path towards your dream goals right now!

Goal Setting - Part 2

This is an article I published in EzineArticles.com

The Key To Successful Goal Setting Is To Be S.M.A.R.T.

It seems like the first thing anyone will tell you about being successful is to focus on successful goal setting. But when you’re not exactly sure what kind of goals you should be setting, it can be a challenge to know what you need in order to succeed in both your professional and personal life. Sure, it’d be nice to tell yourself that you’ll become extremely wealthy, retire early from your job and then travel the world; after all, many people are successful because they dream big! But these kinds of goals will psychologically set you up for failure, because – at first - they can’t be realistically attained, which will make you feel like an absolute failure. So where should you begin to avoid this pitfall? The key is to think S.M.A.R.T:

Specific – Goals that are specific are much more productive that general goals, as they give you a concrete direction in which to take your personal and professional life. For example, if you want to earn $100,000 in sales during your first year of opening that small business you’ve always dreamed about, you’d have a better chance at success by setting up tangible ways to get there – such as developing effective marketing schemes or expanding your clientele base – as opposed to just expecting to make that money.

Measurable – Whether you’re setting a goal to lose those last few pounds or get that promotion at work, you’re going to need those goals to be measurable. So what does it mean to set measurable goals? Simple: a measurable goal is one that can be tracked throughout your progress. For example, by setting a measurable goal of losing five pounds within a month, you can keep track each week of the progress you’re making towards the fulfillment of your desired outcome.

Attainable – In order to succeed, you’ll need to be able to establish goals that you can realistically reach. When you reach these goals, your confidence and self-image will flourish, which in term will have a direct impact on your own professional and personal life.

Realistic – This is similar to attainable goals. For example, if you’re a small business owner, a realistic goal might be to expand your staff, increase profits by 25%, or simply gain new clients. However, an unrealistic goal might be expecting to earn several millions of dollars in your first year of operation. Dream big, but be reasonable - this is an easy way to set yourself up for failure!

Timely – A time frame will tie in all of these factors together, and make it easier to track the progress of your goals. Don’t use “someday” for a time line; instead, set concrete deadlines, such as “By December 1st, I will save up $600 towards my dream trip to Australia”. See how motivating this can be?

In the end, only you will know what kind of goals you’ll need to set in order to succeed. But if you get stuck trying to come up with goals that make sense for you, just remember to think S.M.A.R.T!

Goal Setting

We've all been at a point in our lives where setting realistic and attainable goals has been absolutely vital to reaching a desired outcome. Whether you're looking to make a change in your professional or personal life, successful goal setting is all about identifying your key strengths and using them to your advantage. However, unless you've got a knack for effective goal setting, everyone could use a refresher course on how to develop and implement a smart and effective system that keeps you and your goals directly in the driver's seat. No matter how big your goal is or how long it will take to reach it, you'll need these four secrets to help you create the ultimate plan that will see you finally reaching your goals:



Write Them Down. Goals are easy to ignore if they're cluttered in the back of your mind along with your grocery shopping list and looming office deadlines. However, once you write your goals down, you'll continually be reminded of your commitment towards achieving them. Many people need the daily motivation that a simple reminder can provide; take advantage of this small step that reaps significant outcomes.



Practice Makes Perfect. You've probably heard this expression about a million times, but it still rings true, even when it comes to successful goal-setting: the more goals you set and reach, the more likely it is that you'll achieve any long-term goals. Balance out any long-term goals with a few short-term ones; this will help you practice effective goal setting, which will be a useful skill you can use in both your professional and personal life. Additionally, reaching short-term goals can provide a much-needed ego boost that long-term goals rarely provide.



Make Your Goals Realistic. Sure, we'd all like to be famous rock stars or earn millions of dollars a year; but unless you're the best guitar player the world has ever seen or have an innovative business idea, these goals are unlikely to be accomplished. Experts agree that unrealistic goals only encourage feelings of failure and discouragement, which is detrimental to any goals that you may consider setting in the future. Instead, make sure that your goals are realistic and attainable. Don't forget to set up a realistic time frame for accomplishing your desired goals - this will help you stay on track while keeping yourself accountable.



Give Yourself Rewards. The sense of accomplishment you'll achieve when you finally reach your goal is a great reward; yet what about the milestones that you reach along the way? Reward yourself for making such great progress; for example, if you're looking to land yourself a promotion at work, treat yourself to a massage after a week of late nights in the office. You'll burn out less quickly - and that's crucial when attempting to achieve a long-term goal!



It's no secret that effective goal setting is the key to reaching both professional and personal dreams - and these four strategies are crucial to the success of any goals that you may have for your own life. So what are you waiting for? It's time to finally achieve those goals you've always desired to reach!

This is the first in a series of 3 articles about setting goals and changing your life. You can set and achieve your goals and change your life forever by following a few simple steps.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=J._B._Washburn